now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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