But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
