she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
