Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
