dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
