i permit you to call me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
time to smoke my breakfast
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
