i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
