There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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