there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
