I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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