I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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