Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
