It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
