Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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