He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
