I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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