Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
