That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
