Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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