Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
