C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
