do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
