You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Your tits are I can't wait for
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
