After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
