I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
