Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize