Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
