Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
