oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
