then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
