brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
