I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My penis needs a shock collar
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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