Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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