is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm drive I can fine osifer
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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