So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
