the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
40s are totally the cure
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
