She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
