People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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