i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The feeling are messing with the penis
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
