Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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