Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
