I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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