i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
