hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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