i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
