I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
