If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
