Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
