he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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