I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
